Tariff Tensions

Three proclamations: wine, hockey sticks, cement. Canada has been very naughty. Canada retaliated after we imposed tariffs first. Terrible timing on our part. I can automate the punishment. [machine whirring] Washington sent three proclamations. Three? One stupid idea needed sequels? We have 30 days. Let's not spend 29 writing a statement. The Liberal government looks weak. What is the Conservative plan? What is the Conservative plan? Win the clip. Ontario says tariff for tariff, dollar for dollar. Good. Which products? Can we announce that tomorrow? The UCP demands protection for Alberta energy. Energy is already exempt. Excellent. Alberta has successfully negotiated. You were not in the room. Neither was common sense. Breakfast is now infrastructure. [object thudding] Tariff plus charges Canadians 50% and Americans twice. It came from your machine, sir. Disloyal machine. [machine whirring] Washington calls the provincial liquor bans discriminatory. Washington threw a brick, then filed a noise complaint? [laughs] Trump started it. Ontario can finish the bar tab. [alarm ringing] The Conservative Party demands strength. The UCP demands provincial control over the targets. Great. Two demands, zero damn lists. The Liberals have lost control of coffee. [machine whirring] [coffee gushing] [alarm ringing] This stick could be used to score against America. That is literally what hockey sticks are for. I can disable scoring through software. For fuck's sake. [machine whirring] Trump is turning market access into a loyalty test. Washington calls it economic pressure. It's extortion with letterpad. [crow cawing] Checkout is 11, sovereignty is non-refutable.