The special guest star

So Brad Pitt got dysentery. Our producer is here instead. Welcome to the show, Mike. Yeah. Happy to be here. Not exactly how I planned my Tuesday. Nobody plans dysentery, Mike. That's the thing about dysentery. [applause] So Mike, what is it exactly that you do on set? And please try to make it sound exciting. I oversee the production, logistics, scheduling. I make sure, yeah, things run. [machine whirring] Nobody watches this [beep] anyway. [beep] [machine whirring] Who the fuck beeped me? Okay, so did you see a ghost? And was she pretty? Because you seem like a guy who could use the company, no offense. Sorry, what? No. No ghost. That's not really what happened. Right. But if she was pretty, would you have stayed? Like, theoretically? If I was left alone with a pretty ghost, I'd probably just ask her out, take her to the Cheesecake Factory. That sounds off-putting. He should be off pudding. [laughs] You know we love you, Mike. No. We love you too, Mr. Belly. [footsteps] Was what Rodney said true? Nobody's watching this show? Technically, the numbers are... Yeah, that's essentially accurate. Nobody? You let me do this for how long with nobody watching? You're fired, Mike. Get off my stage. Jane, please, I have feelings. [beep] Hey. To the tens of you watching right now, I appreciate it. I really do. Show's going to get better unless I die on the Oregon Rail, which is a real possibility at this point. [crashing sound]