Fireball Vows

Doug's wedding is tomorrow. We never gave him a bachelor party. I have been training for this moment my entire life. That scares me. [gasps] You made a plan? Of course. Step one, make Doug happy. What's step two? I'll figure it out after step one. [suspenseful music] [door opens] Why are you guys here? Emergency. What emergency? You're getting married, and you haven't had enough bad decisions yet. [suspenseful music] I just wanted a quiet night. Perfect. We'll have a quiet, crazy night. [laughs] That sentence makes no sense. [explosion] [crowd cheering] [car engine roaring] [car honking] Hey, buds, who's ready? Hotel casino bachelor party, let's go! [birds chirping] Why is there a wedding in the Matrix? Please don't ruin my wedding, boys. Not a what? I was hearing Odie plaque thatting glam. Relax, Doug. I've ruined much bigger things. Jay, I'm going to need more Fireball. [phone rings] I, Sigur. Nope. No missing person here. Just use this one. [fire hissing] Boys, look at this place. We're living tonight. [gasps] Bro, I'm getting in that hot tub right now. Somebody stocked this bar. They knew we were coming. Nobody's doing nothing. Go get changed, boys. Let's go. [crowd cheering] [laughs] [gasps] Whoa! Put it on my card, sweetheart. We want bachelor party suite, boys. Sir, this card belongs to a missing person. Nope, that's different. Doug biggest suite you got? [machine beeps] [water bubbles] [gasps] Yeah. [laughs] Whoa, look at us. [footsteps swooshing] Rented suits, bud. You know who rents suits? Millionaires, boys. [all laughing] [gentle music] [water bubbling] Okay, boys. This is going to get good. Over here, guys. Get in here. [water bubbling] Thanks. Gentlemen, cheers. Tonight we won't remember a thing. [glasses clinking] [drinks sloshing] Already don't remember how we got here. [water bubbling] [upbeat music] [crowd gasping] Doug, how is that even legal? Boys, Doug found the matrix. [crowd cheering] Millionaires, gentlemen. Told you. [gentle music] [water bubbling] Guys, guys, help! Something's very wrong in here. Bro, it's noon. Whatever it is, handle it. I am not getting up for pants problems, Michael. [gasping] [door slams] Wait, Doug missing. [gasping] [suspenseful music] [water splashing] [body thuds] [crowd cheering] Oh my God, I am your biggest fan. Connor McGreggs, I hate a Mike. [body thuds] [bones cracking] I have your Doug. [water bubbling] You have till noon to meet me in desert south of town. Bring me belt, or Doug gets it. [door slams] [water splashing] [gasping] Connor McGreggs has your Doug, boys. Noon, desert south of town. Bring me belt, or Doug gets it. [door slams] [glass breaks] He's got Doug. We gotta move. We gotta move! Fancy J been keeping it warm. [record scratches] [upbeat music] Connor McGreggs says, "Where's me picking belt, boys?" The matrix took it, man. Glitch in the simulation. Fancy J sees not nothing. Fancy J knows nothing. Whoa! [body thuds] [groans] You said something about a belt in a Camaro trunk last night? I don't know what belt you're talking, talking about, buddy. That Camaro is completely clean, 100%. [water bubbling] [gasping] [body thudding] Hope it's in there. Our Doug's finance will kill us if he gets killed before wedding. [door slams] [screaming] [brakes squeak] [door clicks] [engine roaring] Get in. We got to get to the desert now. Boys, she's moving. Let's go! Kyle, what the? Slow down, man. [tires screeching] [laughs] [screaming] Oh, Doug. Connor McGreggs, I'd never kill you. I just wanted me belt back. [upbeat music] [laughs] Let me tell you something. Anyone who likes Fireball is a friend to me. [upbeat music] [laughs] [tires screeching] Catch, Connor McGreggs. [hand slaps] [laughs] Let me tell you something. Bye. [door slams] [tires screeching] [car whooshes] Connor McGreggs is gonna miss Doug. [tires screeching] Hurry up, Doug, or there's gonna be no wedding. I'm coming. I'm coming. Hold your horses. He moves faster for Fireball, just so you know. [chuckles] [upbeat music] [laughs] I now pronounce you Doug's wife. [lips smacking] [crowd cheering] [car revs] [door bangs] [car tires screeching] [car crashes] [objects clattering] [lips smacking] Not the Fireball woman. [gasps] [tires screeching] [dramatic music] [car tires screeching] [laughs] I now pronounce you Doug's wife. [upbeat music] [car engine roaring] [car tires screeching] [car thuds] [metal clanks] Doug, that is not how this goes. The rope came out of nowhere, I swear. [all groaning] [objects clattering]