The Temporal Tab

[table bangs] Boys, we don't need money. [chuckles] A time machine! Then what do we need? [object thuds] This bends time. No, it heats pizza. Exactly. We're going back to before the tab existed. [people laughing] They're thinking again. Should we stop them? No. I want to know where this goes. [wine pours] [exclaims] I don't want mine. That's absolutely insane! This is Matrix-level robbery, bro. [laughs] Pay up or I cut you both off tonight. [gasps] Gentlemen, your tab has arrived. That number cannot be real, man. Uh-oh. [boings] [slow motion screams] [upbeat music] Holy shit! Who's covering this tab? I paid last time, bai. Not me. Somebody go get Mikey. Time machines cost money. Hmm, if only we had a handy man. [machine whirs] What are we building? A time machine, Kevin! [objects rattle] Cool. I brought snacks. [snack thuds] [laughs] Hmm, you might be onto something here, boys. [laughs] It's Bryce Doetsucker. [machine hisses] [whimpers] [machine whirs] Smit always tabs us. This just cuts out the middleman. You think the ATM will work, Mike? [grunts] [object thuds] Stacy finds out, I'm dead. Once this baby hits 88 gigawatts, we're retired before we even started! The temporal flux is all in the keypad, Mike. It's math. I just want a beer that hasn't been brewed yet. [machine buzzes] [machine beeps] [dramatic music] Think it'll work? No. I hope it does. You really think they have the brains to build a time machine? [laughs] Quick, he's not looking. Take it. What in the Matrix are you handing me, boy? Just hide it, now. [objects rattle] I hope this damn thing actually works. [footsteps thudding] Kevin, what the hell are you guys doing? Nothing, hon. Absolutely nothing. That is stupid, Kevin. Ha! She already knows, bud. [upbeat music] Relax, boys. She just needs the override code. [machine beeps] [machine hisses] Let me tell you something, I looks good. Dog is eight years old, Jay! Back off, it's this code, man. [keypad beeps] [machine beeps] [machine hisses] Oh, sweet mother of... [grunts] [gasps] Stacy is going to kill us. [upbeat music] [birds cawing] [dramatic music] What in the holy hell is that thing? Easy now, big fella. I got a wrench and I ain't afraid to use it. [T-Rex growls] 7-2-4-4. That's the one. [machine whirs] [gasps] Michael! Mikey, you just turned Rishi into a grandma. [dramatic music] [T-Rex growls] Yo, Stacy! Yo. Hold on tight, girl. Stay here, Stacy. I'll check out that fire. [T-Rex growls] Don't argue with me. You'll scare him off. [upbeat music] Hmm, who approaches the village elder? Nobody gets through without passing the grunt test. [grunts] I bring gifts. You may pass. It's the big hut. [grunts] An invited star chef. Ooga booga, boys! BLTs and VLTs, baby. Hey! Tarzan is in the building, carnal. Bro, who is that dude? Oga oga booga. [people screaming] I bring gifts. [grunts] You may pass. It's the big hut. Thank you [drum music] [door opening] [machine whirring] [drum music] [chuckles] Just a man with good whiskey, Your Highness. The queen decides if you live. [sniffs] This tastes stupid. Take him to the cliff. Move it. [punch landing] Ah! One wrong word and you go over, handyman. Lady, I still got whiskey. Let's talk. [T-Rex roaring] T-Rex. Nobody move. Ah! [T-Rex roaring] Ah! [T-Rex roaring] [body falling] [T-Rex roaring] [upbeat music] [coughing] Where am I? [laughs] Bud, you took a good zap from the time machine. Yeah, it didn't work. That is not the plumbing. [dramatic music] [T-Rex roaring] Videos! Follow me on YouTube at MichaelCraver52250. Help me! [T-Rex roaring] [crickets chirping] [phone dinging] [door opening]